best intros no. 1

take. it. eeeeeeeeeeeasy.

tomorrow is a new day that will hopefully not be like this one...every internal gripe i've been kicking around falling on me like a loaded shelf of books finally giving way. thankfully, i have these things:

1. a kind and concerned boyfriend.
2. piping hot millet, squash and pumpkin seed bake.
3. bone awl in the audio (needs an inspiration blog).
4. a fourth floor job in a building overlooking one of my favorite sections of chicago.
5. perfect april/may weather today.
6. making progress

7. and spectrum tomorrow with a side of taylor. maybe the other way around?

Listen Up #3

my friend Mickey is doing issue 3 of his zine Listen Up in time for the Burning Fight weekend. he asked several people to name 5 elements of punk and hardcore that have made an impact on them. and i said...

1. road trips and making friends in far off places- i've seen corners of this country (and canada!) that i don't believe i would've been drawn to had it not been to see bands. it never fails that when i travel for shows, there are a lot of people doing the same and it makes for such an interesting stew of tired but anxious fans that the shows end up going through the roof in terms of fun and energy. i've been put up by some of the most friendly folks, always eager to show me anything new and stuff my face with their own food or local goodies. and there's such simple fun in hitting the yellow pages for record shops in towns on the road and coming up with some treasures.

2. helping to organize ClitFest 08- not to be a shithead, but i didn't have much confidence in the success of Chicago ClitFest. i thought it would be stressful and unproductive and i'd probably witness or contribute to some silly arguments. but it's a great feeling to be proven so, so wrong. this was organized by two dozen-ish ladies from chicago from all points along the feminist spectrum. i'm not attached to feminism, or any "ism" and i wanted to challenge myself against some ideas that aren't normally floating around my own head. but the beautiful thing to evolve was that there was no challenge to speak of since we had such a rad goal in mind and that was to raise money and awareness of the Chicago Women's Health Center (unbelievable place, but really busy because they are that unbelievable) and everyone was masterfully focused on that. goal achieved, personal differences pushed aside, if not celebrated and learned from.


3. shows at the Odum- this was like the half way point between club shows and basement gigs. some people hated this place. i loved every inch. loved standing on shaky wooden theater seats to watch Erba naked and bleeding. loved the polish drunk punks that made everyone laugh. loved having to close every available escape for air so the neighbors wouldn't be bothered and suffering through the sweat slime on the floors and the walls as consequence. it smelled, i loved it. it was tiny, i loved it. it was over an hour from where i lived, i loved it. it was packed with shit breathing crusties at times who spilled beer all over me, and i still loved it.


4. the Double Negative lp- this is adult crash hardcore. could NOT have fallen on my ears at a more appropriate time; existentialist "what am i DOING and who am i doing it FOR" rambling amongst introverted poetry. it's nonsensical but ends up making so much sense (like Crowley books)! four men with astounding taste in music that spans far beyond punk still finding a place for punk as an outlet. it reassured me that this music will always be a necessity though it may gather some dust from time to time. and the guitars sound like your face going through a blender. brutally. like pulse, pause for a second, pulse, pause for a second, pulse...


5. exposing me to DIY economy- it's pretty simple. i know where my money is going.

the winner

best photo i've ever taken at a show.

Limp Wrist @ El Gato Negro

the cure- all i want to do is kill her

not an actual video, but a recording of the Cure playing the song "all i want to do is kill her" live TIB era. i have A LOT of Cure bootlegs but i've never heard this song. apparently never properly studio recorded.

"Flash of youth shoot out of darkness..oh to be the cream"

Youtube comments are bankable comedy, especially when what seems like a Japanese punk tries to comment on a Dif Juz video of my favorite Dif Juz song. maybe i'm not in the know and that's actually a lyric to some song out there, but this is an instrumental so i don't know what unicorn's anus this person pulled that golden turd out of. I LOVE THIS VIDEO/SONG:

a few weeks ago i went to a filming of the Vice TV show Soft Focus, hosted by Ian Svenonious of Nation of Ulysess and Make-Up fame. he first interviewed Mick Collins of the Gorries and Dirtbombs and then he interviewed Steve Albini. Maybe it's online by now? anywho...my interests in Big Black and NOU peaked around the same time and i've always thought both Steve and Ian had their merits, still do. and that is obviously peripherally and observationally based as i know neither personally. but Ian really blew it on this one and i walked away thinking a bit less of the guy. it's possible he got blazed in between interviews but it's more likely that his idea of the way the interview with Albini would go was derailed, and that's rough on people who are so domineering and cocky like Ian. he wasn't lording over the "conversation" and he caved. so some really ridiculous things came out of his mouth, like how he's troubled that the internet is so lawless, essentially, and referenced youtube comments where people can say anything without recourse! whaa, whaa he sounded like a baby. i imagine him sitting next to his computer with a chalkboard nearby to tally up the number of times Faceless Joe has called him a fag on the internets. Steve's reply to this was more or less "what kind of person is troubled by youtube comments?" and went on to talk about Rudimentary Peni and not being affected by the economic climate. solid conversational points!

lazy sunday

Tuna Breath lounging about in a box of Matt's new zine, Dumb Audio.

who knew?

matt took this picture of me several months before i tried to seduce him with vegan baked goods in a bar on my 29th birthday while he was still straight edge. i did not seduce him out of straight edge.

i really miss the garden in the courtyard of my old apartment. it would get obnoxiously out of hand sometimes; pushing back overgrowth just to get down the walk. but i liked feeling as if i lived in some hidden, hard to get to place. for having such a slumlord mercedes driving landlord, she really made and effort with that garden.

peaceful

organizing stuff on the back porch and looking out the window.

inspiration

HAIRCUTS!


the girl behind elysium designs
www.elysiumdesign.etsy.com

and gaylene from DA

but it didn't really turn out this way.

happy, happy, HAPPY record store day.

i love Deadwax with the fire of 100 birthday candles. i didn't dare go to reckless or permanent, especially since i support those stores on the other 364 days of the year if i can. wasn't all that interested in any of the limited releases, except the jesus lizard stuff would've been nice to sit on the shelf. so yeah, Deadwax treated me well as always.

Lilliput: 4ad 1980-1992 2xcd and book (no tshirt, but a 4ad decal)...on the wall @ $58, he gave it to me for $50 with another 20% off. i don't think this goes for under $100, even without the shirt that came with it.

Pillows & Prayers vol. 1 with the VHS

plus a really good Robyn Hitchcock ep, an Eyeless in Gaza LP and the Furs "Heaven" single for the cover.

inspiration/happy record store day

stopping by Deadwax later today to see if they have anything good since i know that they have everything discounted 20%. last time i was in there the sweet, sweet guy that owns the place started talking to me about seeing Sisters "back then" as i was buying a single. sometimes the greatness of the songs on their 12"s and e.p.'s is overshadowed by the stylistic and thematic pleasures that are the covers.

from the list of debilitating (in a good way) songs

i used to think this song was solely responsible for spawning the Cardigans, the only band i listened to in high school that my mother approved of and would actually come into my room to listen to.

hear me

if the Olympics come to Chicago, i am moving.

i don't even know this man

but i wish i did!

my sister has an incredible stash of found photos and old, interesting ones. we're both pretty obsessed with it. i recently sent a photo of some boxers on what i think is a ship deck to a friend who is very boners over boxing. it's probably from the 30s and they have on the most exaggerated, leather globes known as boxing gloves and roughed up, dirty sweats and grimy faces. he loved it (it was a birthday gift). found it at the flea market. in return, he sent me an old photo of a dog laying next to a campsite tent, though it just looks dead. it's gorgeous.

so i have an idea. i want to do a photo exchange via the mail. it can be found photos or photos from your collection. only rule is that the photo can't have you, even in spirit or nuance, in the photo, though you can be the photographer. i'm going to send out some emails with more clear details and see if anyone is interested. also, if you are interested and reading this, leave a comment or email me.

updates and such

1. throbbing gristle was moved from Epiphany to the Logan Square Inaudabletorium since the church folks got mad. Jelen has proposed we torch it. i think we should burn them both, at least after the show.

2. killdozder are playing with the urinals. setting the bar low for this, going nonetheless.

3. i started my training in the hematology oncology department. observed one bone marrow biopsy. suited up with masks and booties and all. observed the kid running around like an oblivious fun loving child 30 minutes later and i'm thinking, "christ, how are you so resilient little man?".

4. i walked around the floor for a few to get acquainted with the set up; nurses stations, reception, play rooms, etc. it unexpectedly choked me up. even though i've worked in health care for 7 years, i have had little to no patient contact. i'm the factory worker of hospital culture; a glorified, nerdly, densely educated lunch lady, but at least she gets to know the faces. being in this department is doing things to me, moving me and connecting me. it's especially helping me to pick up that idea again of child advocacy in some form. i was hoping to go back to school for nutrition, ideally with a holistic emphasis, ideally to work in school systems as a nutritional consultant. i'm nowhere near taking the steps to make that happen but that's okay.

5. we have a sweatshirt that we bought Blue for election night but found out that cats can't wear restrictive clothing and they just fall over like a fainting goat. she is wearing it right now because it's the only thing that debilitates her long enough so that matt can trim her claws.

6. they cloned a camel and named it Achievement. gross.

7. the 5 week sewing class i wanted to take conflicts with my schedule. this kind of fucks up my plan. should i saw "fuck it" and jump into garment construction come summer even though i can't make the prerequisite proper sleeve seam? maybe youtube can help me learn it before class starts.

8. 30 years and i'm finally, possibly starting a band?

9. something i'd like to finish before the end of the month: putting up handmade on etsy. undecided whether to lump it into a New Life For You (o.g. plan) or to start a new brand all together. was going with Timber Limbs but it sounds too much like Timbaland and i hate that mother fucker.

10. the spinanes have a song to match every mood know to the human condition.

24 hours

finally got the haircut I've wanted. had to grow my hair out for awhile to get there and consequently look like a mom of four. feels like a million bucks though maybe jocking tegan or maybe jocking sara. who can tell them apart anyway?

went to Dekalb to see Dinosaur Jr. at Otto's. I'm really uncomfortable in that town anymore.

Awesome Color opened. they're easily three times more exciting live than on record.

reminded me of two things...

1. Matt driving me to work in the morning when i lived in Uptown. we'd listen to that s/t record on tape in his Camry nearly every day.

2. Violent Ramp. totally forgot 2/3 of Awesome Color were in that band until they reminded the crowd that they're from Detroit. what a great 7" that I'll have to unearth this week.

bad shot of a fun time.

Dino were fantastic.

i truly think J. has aged into one seriously handsome dude. that's what i want when I'm 50. i didn't go to see them when they played the Abbey (two years ago?) because it was mostly going to be You're Living All Over Me stuff and though that's obviously a phenomenal record, I'm a sucker for the mid-career stuff that was relevant to my generation and my youth. Bug, Green Mind and of course Where You Been. but they played "Out There" and "Freak Scene"; stock songs but i was happy.

spent the morning at Mindy's taking Etsy photos and playing around. I wish we lived closer so we could do this all the time.

my buddy

new staple

alkalizing veggie broth.

late night backhand

hot finds: @ the flea market

right next to the taxidermy animals and an "ice age" deer jawbone.

flea market anthropologists, so charming.

visitors

Danish, jet lagged and in need of a haircut.

Aside from my now famous friends who play in a popular rock and roll outfit from Canada, i'm pretty sure that these are my first international houseguests.