bailout

pretty immersed in non-internet activities for the month of september. nesting into a new apartment, concentrating on my health, soaking up beautiful weather, throwing unsuccessful yard sales, and keepsake time on the highest levels with good friends and brain-bending bands. my personal computer isn't hooked up yet at the new home so i'm eventually going to sift through the photo wreckage that's built up over the month once i can get it loaded onto it. there's a lot, including:

-vacation to a desert compound.

-high class "boardroom" 30th birthday celebration and private room, china town karaoke.

-low show in an ancient church.

-nick cave show/possible bill murray sighting.

-a place to bury strangers show.

-bryan welch takes on a cupcake.

-matt's part-time (or is it full time?) wizard gig is exposed.

other stuff and things...

i saw my bloody valentine and it was pure magic. dreamlike. as big as the aragon is, i felt like they were playing to me, solely to me, at the end of long, loud, lightstorm tunnel. ultimate transcendence and connection (no drugs!). this was of course 8 hours after i'd had my first ever visit to an acupuncturist where a wearable "tack" was placed in my ear, fixed on a point that aids in reducing anxiousness and stress. i wasn't sold on it as i left the office, but i can certainly say i've felt a calm in my spirits like i haven't felt in a very long time. don't really care to pick apart why i'm feeling better, just happy to say it.

i'm going to seattle for five day on my first ever sisters' vacation. we have a lot planned...staying with her bosses at their new place, eating seasonal co-op meals, hiking into the pacific northwest's idea of a rain forest, two nights in a swank converted downtown hotel, eating our faces off and drinking lots of coffee (i think i can do that now!). and quality fucking time with my best sister friend. and taking notes, because i kind of want to move there.

when i get back i have a few "by the end of the year" plans i'd like to set into motion. since i've now seen 5 chicks on the street wearing clothing that i've sold to vintage boutiques, i'm going to start selling on etsy for real. i mean i've been at this since i was 13 and running around altering my dad's old clothes and saving lunch money to buy three bags of clothing at the church basement thrift. i put out a bunch of stuff and my yard sale and received so many compliments and questions as to why i don't have a store or if i sell online. so that was encouraging. same thing happened when mindy and i sold our stuff at the flea market two summers ago. it was adorable to see these totally rad folks drooling over our wares. i like making people happy, whether it's a joke, a friendly jab or a nice pair of stacked wedge heels from 1972. also looking to finally take a guitar or bass class at old town school of folk music, take a screen printing class (unlimited studio time + brushing up on my skills=total winner), fine tune my resume, get out of this horrid job, start looking into nutrition programs, start burning through that CABINET of vintage fabrics and CREATE (and $ell), and maybe take a photo/photo journalism class.

social pet peeves no. 7

self-elected life guides

i'm a drinker. i've had people in my life on pretty intimate levels that weren't. i don't eat meat. again, shared my time with people that do. usually never created an issue unless it was over potential harm. fair enough, you do what's best for you. then there's this annoying group of jaw-flappers that can't help but to hammer away at you for "what you're missing". evidenced at work this week when a co-worker insists i must be "dying" for something sugary or a cup of coffee since i've began this new eating plan and that it's just crazy to not let myself indulge. "you've got to have something." you know what's crazy? that merely glancing at a cupcake practically sends my V into infection mode and even more crazy is that infection mode has kept me from having sex for two months with my LIVE IN BOYFRIEND so maybe i'll just lay off for awhile so my body heals itself and i can finally fuck my brains out and have a pain free crotch. and peace of mind? people act like setting restrictions for yourself is some act of masochistic denial. i just want to be well again. i don't want to deny myself anything, as i've got one loudly beating hedonist's heart. but when i can't let it beat, somethings got to change, no?

when i was young jane's addiction taught me a valuable rule, though i don't think "rules" and jane's addiction can vibe in the same sentence. so it was more like they planted a really right-on idea...and i hate mirroring your life through lyrics but it's such a bare-bones thought that has inversely given me so much..."there ain't no wrong there ain't no right, there's only pleasure and pain". the notion came full circle back to me over the weekend when i was vacationing in the desert with some of my best people, who connect with that band in the same way, so it was only fitting that the cd never left the car's stereo. it's a pretty idealistic approach, but i think it's applicable in almost everything. especially when you are trying to come down on someone for doing what they think they need to do to avoid pain, you assholes!!!

take care of yourself.

really.

almost a decade of piss-poor vegetarianism. 15 years of consistent often times heavy, boozing. lifelong aversion to drinking water. all creates a rotten picture of health. a walking picture.

no added sugar. no white flour. NO ALCOHOL. no coffee. guinea-pigging my diet in hopes for better health. forgot, limited fruit. forgot no carrots, no corn, no potatoes, no mushrooms.

this sucks.